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Scene 35
From Moses to Sandy Koufax
Starring
Location
Walter's Car
Scene Rating
5.9
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I mean we totally fucked it up, man. We fucked up his pay-off. We got the kidnappers all pissed off at us, and Lebowski, he yelled at me a lot, but he didn't do anything. Huh?
Well, sometimes the cathartic, uh.
No No, I'm saying if he knows I'm a fuck-up, why does he leave me in charge of getting his wife back? Because he doesn't fucking want her back, man! He's had enough! He no longer digs her! It's all a show! Ok? But then, why didn't he give a shit about his million bucks? I mean, he knows we never handed off his briefcase, but he never asked for it back. The million bucks was never in the briefcase. The briefcase was fucking empty, man! The asshole was hoping that they would kill her! You threw out a ringer for a ringer!
Huh! Okay, but how does all this add up to an emergency?
Huh?
I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money, my point is, umm, here we are, it's shabbas, the Sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death--
Will you come off it Walter. You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic.
What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia!
Yeah.
Come on, Dude!
Yeah, yeah yeah!
You know this!
Yeah, and five fucking years ago, you were divorced.
So, what are you saying? When you get divorced, you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
This is the driveway.
I'm as Jewish as fucking Tevye
Man, you know, it's it's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.
Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax--YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M LIVING IN THE FUCKINGPAST! I--Jesus. What the hell happened?